Letting go of what no longer serves

For the past three years I have been both contemplating this idea and living this practice: letting go of what no longer serves. Ever since we  moved from our duplex (occupied both units) to our condo (1/2 the livable space, limited garage storage, and no basement) I have been in the practice of letting things go.

The hardest of course was realizing that our beloved dog was in too much pain and just too sick to make the move with us. Having to let go of her was the most emotionally traumatizing. Of course it's a no-brainer that having her put to sleep was horrible and hard. But it's surprising that what shouldn't be hard to let go often can be.

• The pull-out couch: No, it doesn't fit in our new space but what will we do if we have company?
• Tools: No, I don't need a table saw, extension ladder, snow blower, etc. anymore. But what if I need them in the future?
• My yoga room: I don't have my private space any more. Where will I practice? And where will I put all my props?
• The yard and garden: What will I do if I can't garden? What will I do if I can't spend lots of time outside?

Thinking about all these things that I have let go, I am reminded of Deborah Adele's book, The Yamas and Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice. In particular, the message on Aparigraha (non-possessiveness): what you posses, possesses you. I do not want to end up as a little old lady who keeps all the things that ever meant something, piled up and tucked away, creating clutter and the feeling of grasping the past, or maybe being buried by the past as things pile up around me. I want to keep fresh in my life, my ideas, my practice.

I recently read Marie Kondo's books, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing and her follow up book, Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up. I was amazed at her methodology. The practice of tidying up and decluttering for her means the practice of letting go of what no longer serves. She does this by holding each item to see if it still sparks joy. If it does, keep it; if it doesn't, let it go with thanks and gratitude.

Although I have already let go of so many things these past three years, after reading her books I was inspired to renew my efforts. There were some things I always skipped over when reducing: old ballet outfits, old swing dancing clothes, my stash of fabric, family mementos and hand-me-downs that had no use to me but which had a guilty hold over me, etc.

When I took the time to honestly look at these things, to hold them, remember the memories, realize this was no longer relevant to me any more, and give thanks to these items for the part they played in my life at the time I used them, I found a joy in remembering and in letting go. I was able to set aside the things that no longer served and I was able to reappreciate the things that still did spark joy.

Even though I have made an effort to have a gratitude practice in my yoga practice, it had not carried over into my decluttering practice. Reduce-and-reuse efforts in the past held more of a "Oh gosh, I really don't want to let this go" feeling, versus a "Thank you for being part of my life and providing joy and meaning" feeling. This change of attitude in decluttering really felt good. It feels so good to lighten my load and to do it with gratitude for the things that served me in the past.

In Marie Kondo's second book she says, "Tiding is the act of confronting yourself; cleaning is the act of confronting nature." Ms. Kondo only refers to yoga and meditation in passing but I am strongly reminded of Aparigraha by this practice of tidying. Especially since she insists that you must hold each thing to learn to hone your skill at what sparks joy for you. What this means is that you are honing your skill in what is true and relevant for you now. This enable us to let go of what no longer serves. If that's not yoga, I don't know what is.

Interested in lightening your load? I invite you to ask yourself, "What am I holding onto that no longer serves?"

Here's a few of my favorite quotes from the Aparigraha chapter in Ms. Adele's book, The Yamas and Niyamas, to help you along:

Like the breath when it is held too long, the things that nourish us can become toxic.

Anything we cling to creates a maintenance problem for us.

Our expectations keep us captive and often disgruntled, and yet we choose our attachments rather than our freedoms.

Best wishes to you in your practice of developing your "letting go" muscle and lightening your load.
Namaste ~ Sara

Flexibility of Mind

This is a wonderful article about the complexities of truth in asana. What is true in our bodies today may not be true tomorrow, what is true for one student may not be true for the next, and the level of understanding we have about a pose may make our previous understanding obsolete.

Teaching students--not poses--can be a spiritual practice that requires the teacher to understand truth in all of its complexity ~ by Aadil Palkhivala

Effective yoga teachers teach people, not poses. How can we become better able to respond to our students’ individual needs and capabilities? As I travel around the country giving workshops for teachers, I repeatedly see many inexperienced teachers gravitate toward the comforting idea that there is only one way to teach a pose—the "right way," the "best way," the "way Aadil did it last time." The idea that "one pose fits all" not only stunts our growth as yoga teachers but often harms our students.

Instead of fixing our minds on a single solution, the art is to develop flexibility of mind and accept that there may be as many ways of teaching a pose as there are students. Whenever we give an instruction, we must approach it from the perspective that our words are only appropriate for that particular person at that particular time, not that they are absolute rules unto themselves. Many ways of teaching a pose can be true or "right"—it all depends on the student we are teaching and the effect we desire. Flexibility of mind allows us to develop a repertoire of ways to teach a pose, making us able to respond to any student or situation. As William Blake wrote, "One law for the ox and for the ass is oppression."

Levels of Truth

As our students evolve, as their understanding develops and refines, our instructions must evolve as well. For example, in the beginning, we tell our students, "Straighten your leg." Although this is a very coarse truth, new students need to hear it, and it is about all they need to hear at first. Once they have grasped it, we can tell them a bit more about how to straighten their leg: "Lift the quadriceps and press your heels into the floor" refines the same truth and reflects the development of the students’ understanding. The next level of refinement might be, "Resist with the calf muscle so that the knee does not hyper-extend while lifting your quadriceps and pressing your heels into the floor." The next level might be, "As you press the floor with your heels, also press down with the big toe mound and the outer edge of the foot. Press the bones into the earth while lifting the flesh away from the earth." Then, "As you press the bones down and lift the flesh, watch the way you are pressing down and lifting. Make the lift a recoiling action by firmly pressing the big toe mound and inner heel into the floor while recoiling the arch up the inner leg." The next level may be, "Now watch the actions. Are the actions in the skin, in the flesh, or in the bones? Work the descent of the bones separately from the recoil of the flesh and separately from the unmoved calmness of the skin."

All these levels, some of which might be quite advanced for the student, are refinements of the same instruction to "straighten the leg." The subtlety of our instruction must change with the student’s growing understanding. The more refined the level of truth, the more awareness the student must have to attain it. As students reach higher and higher levels of truth, they become more sensitive to the connection between their minds and their bodies, evolving from crudeness to refinement.

Still, while a more refined truth is a more accurate truth, it is completely useless and possibly detrimental to state the more accurate truth to a beginner. As teachers, we must decide what truth level will allow a student to grow and be safe at the same time. Therefore, we might teach one student one action while teaching another student a different action in the same pose, because they are at different levels of understanding and development. In Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward-Facing Dog), for example, a student who has the lift in the pelvis should be working to bring the head down, while a student who sinks into the head should be learning to expand or extend the spine. It is not a question of what is right and wrong, but of what is appropriate for the student. This concept of truth levels allows each student to grow at her own pace.

Truths Often Contradict Each Other

What is a true instruction for a student today may no longer be true tomorrow. Often, one truth will contradict another, and flexibility of mind is required to allow both truths to be true. For example, the instruction "Straighten the leg completely, locking the knees" seems to contradict the next level of truth, "Don’t straighten the leg completely, but resist with the calf muscle and microbend the knee to protect it." A student who cannot straighten her leg (the first truth) will not be able to feel the resistance of the calf muscle which will allow her to microbend her knee (the second truth). Thus, while the first level is necessary for the second to happen, an evolved truth may contradict a prior one, making it obsolete.

When we teach beginners to do backbends, we ask them to keep the lumbar long and extended so that it doesn’t get jammed. In other words, we ask the beginning student to remove the curve from the lumbar spine while doing backbends. This is a lower level of truth that must be contradicted for advanced backbends, in which we ask students to cultivate a curve in the lumbar spine to prevent injury in the thoracic spine.

While teaching Salamba Sirsasana (Supported Headstand),we instruct beginning students to press their arms, wrists, little fingers, and elbows strongly into the floor, taking less weight on the head. However, as students learn to place the arms more accurately and retain the curvature of the neck, we ask them to take more weight on the head. Later, we ask them to take equal weight between the head and the arms. Eventually, when the students have become stable and strong, with well-aligned necks and lifted thoracic spines and shoulder blades, we ask them to take full weight on the head, using the arms only for balance. With regard to this weight-bearing action, a later truth contradicts an earlier truth as we move the student from the physical body to the energetic body.

Variations for Different Effects

Not only does each pose have many levels of refinement, but we can vary each pose to create different effects. For example, if a woman is nine months pregnant, then flat Savasana (Corpse Pose) is dangerous for the unborn child, even if she’s supple and able to do it. The woman must lie on her left side to prevent blocking the blood supply to the fetus. This is not a different truth level but a different posture. Similarly, if a person has stiff hamstrings and a stiff upper back, we might put a roll under his knees and a pad under his head. This is not the perfect pose for a person who is supple but an ideal pose for someone who is stiff. The stiff person would not get the full benefit of the pose if he were to do it flat, while a supple person would be less able to relax deeply into the pose using pads. We must have the flexibility of mind to allow these variations in order to keep our students safe.

The Effect Is What Is Important

Flexibility of mind allows us to understand that the same instruction may have opposite effects in two students. An instruction to relax in Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend) might cause pain in the back of a student with stiff hamstrings, while it may bring pleasure to the spine of a student with open hamstrings. Conversely, opposite instructions may achieve the same result. To obtain a calm, wide diaphragm in Tadasana (Mountain Pose), we may ask a student who puffs his chest to relax the it, while we may ask another who has collapsed his chest to lift it.

We must learn to focus our minds on the effects and benefits we wish for our students, and vary our instructions to fit those intentions. If we focus instead on the form that the student must attain because it is the "perfect form"—the ideal pose, the highest truth—then we may harm rather than help our students.

Developing Flexibility of Mind

How do we develop this flexibility of mind? In a word, by apprenticing. Work with an experienced teacher. All arts and crafts, including medicine and yoga, were once taught in this manner. Changing social and financial circumstances have altered this custom, yet apprenticeship will always remain the most effective way to transmit an art and its lineage. To develop flexibility of mind and a repertoire of ways of teaching poses, find an experienced teacher and work with her. This will help you help all your students—and isn’t that what teaching is all about?

This article is excerpted from a forthcoming book called Teaching the Yamas and Niyamas by Aadil Palkhivala. Read the full article here: http://www.yogajournal.com/for_teachers/1011.

More Truth

I'm still contemplating the ramifications of truthfulness as I was discussing in the last post. What if we don't like what we see when we look inside ourselves? Or what if we are so scared to admit that we have value that we cannot look inside ourselves? What do we do then? Well, we keep trying. We use the Yamas & Niyamas to guide us and we practice non-harming (to self and others) and tapas (staying in the heat of the fire, i.e. staying with the discomfort and examining it). And we practice surrender - we go with life instead of fighting all the time.

Here's a little exercise. Ask yourself these questions:

1. What am I most afraid of?

2. If I could do anything at all, no restraints on time and money, what would it be?

3. What do I love most about myself?

Usually the 1st one is pretty hard to answer because most of us have to admit a fault here like, "I'm afraid everyone will see that I am a fraud. I don't really know what I am doing." The 2nd one can get pretty wild, "I'd travel the world, I'd quit my job, I'd learn another language," etc. Now the 3rd one, that's a doozy. How many of us can admit that we like anything about ourselves at all? Much less that we love something about ourselves.

Go ahead, jump in the fire and admit to yourself how many things about yourself are great. I'll start you off, "I love that I laugh a lot, I love that I'm learning to really see myself, I love that I am creative." Go on, keep on making your list.

ps - Here's an article from Yoga Journal to help you along a bit: Polishing the Mirror - the Practice of Self-Reflection.

Seeking the Truth in Yourself

Image from Wikipedia

I recently watched the movie Invictus, a portrayal of Nelson Mandela, acted by Morgan Freeman, set in the 1990's, the time period just after Mandela's release from 27 years of unjust incarceration. Mandela was elected  president by the first truly free election, the first multi-racial democracy, in 1994.

Mahatma Gandhi's non-violent resistance, satyagraha ("truth force"), influenced Mandela's approach to ruling in South Africa. This was portrayed wonderfully in the movie. Mandela's ability to see the truth in himself--his greatness, his flaws, his prejudice, his desire for revenge, his desire for peace--allowed him to rule from a place of equanimity. His ability to look beyond himself and ask, "What is the best course of action for all people of South Africa?" made him an incredible leader.

Since watching this movie I have been wondering what would happen if we could all be so fearless? What would happen if we could all look inside ourselves and see both the greatness and the smallness that makes us who we are? Could we recognize what hooks us if we could see ourselves with perfect truthfulness? Could we find love and forgiveness in our hearts for ourselves and others the way Mandela (and Gandhi) did?

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Peace, peace, peace.

To Prop or Not to Prop

Restorative Yoga uses tons of props and I tend to use lots of props in my other classes too. I know some folks think props get in the way and maybe even act as a crutch, not allowing you to move deeper into your practice. I agree that can happen. On the other hand, pushing yourself  into a pose without support can be just as limiting. You can create habits of fear in your mind and body if you do not allow yourself to have support.

For example, in high school I pulled my left hamstring. It has been tight ever since. Over time, I found myself dreading forward folds because I felt so unbalanced and stretching my tight side left me feeling weak and in some pain. Then one day my teacher Ann had us do a standing forward fold while squeezing a block between our inner thighs and at the same time we had a belt wrapped snugly around the outer thighs which we were supposed to push out against. In essence we were activating our adductors and abductors to support our forward fold. Using props to support my fold allowed my hamstrings to relax and lengthen without fear or pain. It was the most satisfying forward fold I had ever had.

I wrote about another example of finding a deeper and more relaxed stretch in a supported reclining twist in a previous blog post, A Student Observation. And I recently read the below article in Yoga Journal which discusses this very issue. I especially love what Ms. Cummins says about being your own teacher. Read on...

To Prop or Not to Prop

Are props a helpful supplement to your practice, or do they just get in the way? Here's how to decide when to use—and not use—these tools.

By Claudia Cummins

The original yogis didn't practice with foam blocks, D-ring straps, or purple sticky mats. But as yoga evolved, many practitioners discovered that props could help deepen their explorations.

Among modern yogis, attitudes toward props range from the Zen-like minimalism of those who shun all but a sticky mat to the abundance of those who travel with an extra suitcase filled with yoga accessories. Regardless of where you fall in this spectrum, a few guidelines can help you make the most of your props.

Be clear about why you're using them. Mindlessly using a block to support your hand in a standing pose just because your teacher told you to won't deepen your practice. Ask yourself what purpose the extra support is serving and let that answer guide the way you use it. Are you using the block to move into a posture you aren't yet supple enough to manage on your own? If so, consider ways to lessen your reliance on that aid over time.

Be your own teacher.
Use your body's signals to devise new and effective ways of using props to enhance your practice. When you sense a certain part of your body crying out for extra support in a resting pose, for example, wedge a towel or shirt beneath that area and observe what happens. Or if you're struggling to master a new pose, ask yourself whether any props within arm's reach might help. You might be surprised by the ingenious solutions you unearth.

Explore new territory.
If a rolled-up blanket is supporting your back during a restorative pose, you might like to explore how varying the size and position of it alters your experience. Or if you're using a strap to help you understand a particular action or direction in a posture you know well, you may choose to repeat that same pose without props from time to time to explore the differences.

Be creative.
Yoga basics include mats, blankets, straps, and blocks. But if you consider a prop to be any aid that helps you access a posture more fully, your world will widen considerably. Walls, tables, balls, books, socks, neckties, even the helping hands of a friend can all be used to deepen your exploration.

Practice nonattachment.
Ideally, yoga leads us toward greater flexibility and adaptability. So don't grow so attached to your chest of yoga toys that you can't practice without them. If you use props regularly, challenge yourself every once in a while to stow them away and practice without any aids at all (that's right, not even a sticky mat). On the other hand, if you're a yoga minimalist, incorporate a few props into your practice every now and then just to explore how they might be helpful. You might be surprised by what you learn. Remember, the best yoga prop is always an open mind.

Claudia Cummins teaches yoga in Mansfield, Ohio. At the moment, her favorite pose is Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana (Revolved Head-to-Knee Pose).

Yamas and Niyamas: Conclusion

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the Yamas and Niyamas. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com.

Yamas and Niyamas: Ishvara Pranidhana

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 5th Niyama, Ishvara Pranidhana or Surrender. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com.

Yamas and Niyamas: Svadhyaya

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 4th Niyama, Svadhyaya or Self-Study. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com.

Yamas and Niyamas: Tapas

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 3rd Niyama, Tapas or Self-Discipline. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com.

Yamas and Niyamas: Santosha

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 2nd Niyama, Santosha or Contentment. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com.

Yamas and Niyamas: Saucha

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 1st Niyama, Saucha or Purity. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com.

Clothing Exchange

Is this Yoga?

Last week I got together with a few girlfriends for our annual clothing exchange. We had the whole evening planned. 6PM at my house for the clothing exchange followed by Full Moon Yoga at 8PM at Spiritual Deli. Well, the clothing exchange took a lot longer than we thought and we were all having so much fun we didn't mind letting go of our original plans (after all the full moon will happen again next month and we can go to the yoga event then).

Here's what we do for the clothing exchange: Each summer we all clean out our closets, bring the bags of things to the host's house, and try to "sell" the discard items to someone else. (We don't actually sell, we give, but I mean we try to get someone else to like what we are getting rid of - talking up its virtues and such.) We've been doing this for about 4 or 5 years now. Some folks come every year, some are new, some miss a year or two.

There's a lot of modeling, giggling and catching up that happens. And we all feel good that we are getting new clothes without buying more new things, and we are clearing out our space of things we don't wear, want or need (or don't fit). Actually the whole experience is a great exercise in practicing the Yamas and Niyamas: nonexcess, nonpossessiveness, self-discipline.

And it's super fun!

Yamas and Niyamas: Aparigraha

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 5th Yama, Aparigraha or Nonpossessiveness. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com.

Yamas and Niyamas: Brahmacharya

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 4th Yama, Brahmacharya, or Nonexcess. For more information visit www.theYamasandNiyamas.com

Yamas and Niyamas: Asteya

Here is my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about the 3rd Yama, Asteya or Nonstealing. For more information visit the Yamas & Niyamas website.

Yamas and Niyamas: Satya

Here's my teacher, Deborah Adele, talking about Truthfulness:



For more information visit the Yamas & Niyamas website.

Finding Contentment

Restore Your Attitude

When I first started studying the Yamas and Niyamas I was really struck by the concept of Santosha, or Contentment. I always thought I would be content when things in my life were just the way I wanted them: good job, enough money, enough free time, etc. But this idea of "when things are good I will be content" never comes to pass. Instead, you have to cultivate gratitude in your heart in order for contentment to settle in. The more you practice gratitude, the more contentment slips in.

I remember reading in Yoga of the Heart by Alice Christensen that Contentment is elusive because we are always thinking about the past or the future instead of resting in the present moment. That simple statement made a huge difference to me. I had heard before to rest in the present moment but without knowing what I was doing if I wasn't resting in the present moment, I couldn't figure out how to do this. Her labelling my thoughts as lolling about in memory (past events, should have, would have, what if) or fantasizing about the future (what if, when, I need to, as soon as) showed me that I was doing everything but sitting in the present moment.

For my practice I sit comfortably, close my eyes, calm my breath and start to name the things I am thankful for. I usually start off small and build up to more important things: Thank you for the green grass, thank you for the lilac blooms, thank you for my yoga practice, thank you for my partner, my dog, my mom, my dad, my sisters, brother, etc. Then I start labeling thankfulness for many things in my life that I wouldn't normally feel thankful for: Thank you for the learning experience of having a student with questions I don't know the answer to, thank you for the challenge of living in a fixer-upper house, thank you for the conflict in my life so I can look deeper inside myself, and so on.

When I have named all these things I am thankful for I realize how lucky I am and I realize how contentment has slipped into my life and filled me up.

Happy Exploring. Namaste.

Yamas and Niyamas: Ahimisa

Here is a video showing Deborah Adele, author of The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice, giving an overview of Ahimsa, or Nonviolence, the first Yama.

Yamas and Niyamas Overview Video

Here is a video showing Deborah Adele, author of The Yamas & Niyamas: Exploring Yoga's Ethical Practice, giving an overview of what the Yamas and Niyamas are and how they apply to your life.